The Hard Parts of Having a Baby

When I wanted to have a baby, Mikes was a little hesitant. He kept saying it would change our lives and he really liked the way things were. Who wouldn't? We went out on date nights frequently, I could go out shopping without worrying about what I bought, leave for a week or two on Hopkins trips (me) or man trips (mike). Things were pretty awesome for us.

Needless to say, since S' arrival, things have changed. But not in the ways I expected. I tried to read about what happens during pregnancy, delivery, and recovery. I talked to my friends who already have kids, but nothing prepares you for the real deal.

1. The Pregnancy

My pregnancy was great. I never got sick, didn't really have any weird cravings and managed to stay in the recommended 25-30lb weight gain for women who get pregnant at their ideal weight. That said, I found it difficult to find maternity pants I actually liked and felt comfortable in. I didn't feel "cute" with my huge belly. And the last three weeks were killer on my back. Apparently I also started getting moody towards the end.

2. The Delivery

My delivery was also great. I LOVED the team at the U on the labor & delivery ward. Everyone was awesome and kept checking in on us. The attending managed to flip a not so little S even though everyone thought I was almost definitely going to need a c-section. Our anesthesiologist really took care of me and even checked in the day after I delivered. Both my doctor and the resident I rotated seeing with were able to be there at the delivery. Aside from the version, I was never in any discomfort and pushed S out in under 15 minutes with 4 pushes. I think it surprised everyone because normally when you have an epidural they tell you to take it slow so you reduce the chances of tearing (no such luck with me, she just popped out!).

3. The Recovery

Not so great. Once we moved to the newborn care unit, I hated the hospital. The U leaves the baby with mom 24/7 and does not help at all. Aside from getting me food, their only job is to check vitals and run tests, which often woke me up as soon as I had fallen asleep. I didn't get any lanolin until the second day and by then I was already raw from her frequent feedings. Mikes and I couldn't wait to get out of there and left as soon as we could.

Coming home was better, but I still felt awful and break out into tears randomly. It is also hard dealing with this weird post-baby belly. Even my maternity clothes fit differently due to my suddenly much larger chest. After a week, I feel a little better physically and want to get out and about, but can't quit handle it yet (as evident by our failed attempt to see the fireworks last night), which only makes me more upset.

So we are still in recovery phase. I hear one day it will end and I will feel like my old self again.

Thank goodness I love this little squaker and have Mikes to comfort me when I break down. She keeps me from wishing I could take it all back and he makes me feel like we can actually raise a child.